We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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