I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
