oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
