She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
