So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
