So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You made out with two different species that night
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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