I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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