why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
