So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
