i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
