everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
