i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
