There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
