Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
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