I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
