would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
