Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
