There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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