So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I know her cup size but not her name....
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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