I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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