We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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