barbara walters just said penis...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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