D3 body, D1 cock
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My ass is underappreciated
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
