Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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