I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It's Friday. Sex?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
pray to the hookup gods
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
