Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
