My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
