ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
whose parrot is this?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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