Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
