the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
