If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
