come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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