sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
