The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
