Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
