I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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