We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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