The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
