Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
