I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
