i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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