the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
