God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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