i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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