I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
