Kareoke will never be a sober sport
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
