How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
