so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
