I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
