I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
you made out with another girl for some wings
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
