The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
